Editor: Like so many women victimized by flat denial, Stephanie’s experience was an outright betrayal of the sacred confidence she had placed in her surgeon.  And it took her some time to accept the reality of the violation she had experienced.  Her surgeon admitted to her face, after the surgery, that he had purposefully left “a little extra” in case she “changed her mind.”  The paternalism and sheer audacity are shocking. But this is what happens when surgeons are not held accountable – and it will continue to happen, until, as Stephanie says, we expose this cruel, abusive practice for what it is: medical assault and battery.

 

I went in for a double mastectomy on August 14th. Several of my closest friends had walked this path before me and I had no idea there were hidden pitfalls ahead. They both wanted flat and got flat. I told my surgeon that I wanted a flat chest. He looked at his shoes and muttered that a lot of women had been requesting that lately. He said he was concerned that I would look in the mirror and be depressed by what I saw if I was flat. I told him I’d seen my friend’s chest and that I’d be fine with being like that. I foolishly thought [Ed. Stephanie was not wrong to trust her surgeon… her surgeon was wrong to so egregiously violate her trust, and the blame is squarely on his shoulders] that that would be the end of it. The last thing I said to him on my way to surgery was, “I trust you”. Other folks had told me he was an excellent surgeon.

Imagine my surprise when my bandages were taken off and I had a swollen, huge mess on my chest. They kept telling me it was just swelling and it would come down. Ha. Yeah. It’s taken a few weeks to really sink in just how abused I was. My other friends had their surgery, their ONE surgery and then could move on to healing. I’m a freak show and I WILL have another surgery and get the flat chest I asked for. I told him that he’d been worried about how I’d feel when I look in the mirror, but that what he DID to me was what was making me feel depressed when I looked in the mirror. He then reiterated the bit about how I’d be “glad to have that” if I “changed my mind”. I stressed that I do NOT want implants, but he just nodded and said condescendingly, “Well, women change their mind.”

I am outraged. I am outraged at the fact that hundreds of women are facing this abuse on a regular basis. I’m with you. We have to band together. I’ve written an Atlanta news station and I plan to write an editorial for a widely read paper in Athens. We must make a noise and try to expose this cruel, abusive practice.

Editor: Wanda got a great flat result and was “one and done” (the initial flat closure was satisfactory).  Many women who choose to go flat, plan to get a tattoo across the mastectomy site (the canvas, so to speak) after healing from surgery – it’s a way to reclaim ownership of one’s body, and to heal emotionally through artistic expression.  For women who are victims of flat denial, our plans are crushed when we wake up to a ruined canvas.  Wanda lucked out with a skilled, ethical surgeon, and she got the result that every woman deserves – the result that she chose.  It shouldn’t be a matter of luck.

I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer in 2016. Additionally, I had extensive pre-cancer throughout both breasts. I consulted two surgeons, and both agreed that without mastectomy I was a lock to recur.

When the surgeon first brought up mastectomy, she immediately said, “And you’ll reconstruct.” I was the one who had to say “No, I want to be flat so I can get a mermaid tattoo!” She said, “Ooooh, I want to see it!” I was very comfortable that she understood exactly what I wanted.

I consulted with a second surgeon, who concurred with the first surgeon’s opinion and also immediately brought up reconstruction. I said I didn’t want that. She said, “Tell me about that.” I explained that I wanted a mermaid tattoo. She seemed open to that, but I decided to go with the first surgeon.

I first saw my chest two days after surgery, when I was allowed to take a shower. I took the bandages off, looked, and my first thought was, “I look like a fucking badass!” It was flat! The mermaid would look great there.

I had to wait 18 months for the scar to heal enough to tattoo. I had no problems with healing and was back in the pool swimming 3 weeks after surgery. When I got my tattoo, the scar was white and flat. My tattoo artist did a fantastic job. I could not be happier. I had a full body skin scan a couple months after getting the tattoo. I told the nurse practitioner that I had had breast cancer and had a mermaid tattoo instead of breasts. When I showed her, she said, “That is amazing! Is it okay if I ask a colleague to come in and see this? She loves mermaids!” Her colleague came in and loved it. It was so gratifying to get that reaction to something that is so often seen as diminishing a woman.

 

What is striking about my story is that so many people do not get this outcome. They are left with lumps, bumps, and extra skin that it would be incredibly difficult to tattoo on. They are met with resistance from the medical community about going flat. Surgeons insist they should have reconstruction, with its complications and multiple surgeries. I am grateful to have been so lucky to get the surgeon I did. This should be the norm!

Ed. Thank you, Wanda, for your support!